Good morning/afternoon/evening everyone! When ever you are reading this, I hope you are having a good day so far. Let’s see where we left off… Oh yes, last you heard from me I climbed a 14er. Since then, Chas and I visited the Great Sand Dunes and Zapata Falls outside of Alamosa, Colorado last weekend. The hike was incredibly easy to the falls, just a quick half an hour. We climbed through an ice cold creek through a small, dark canyon to witness the sun shining through the water fall. The water misted our bodies, while blasting through the rocks above, cooling us down for the walk back. Remy and Waylon can’t stand being too far from us. Chas began to climb higher towards the water fall along jagged rocks, little did he know Waylon was right by his side. Remy was soaked. I placed him on a dry rock in the sun, but he wanted to be close to the action. I ended up carrying him back to the small beachy area to warm up.
Our mind has a funny way of breaking the ice between our unconscious and conscious self. It’s called dreaming. Dreams say what we can’t openly admit to ourselves. They reveal our deepest desires and darkest wounds. I have always been interested in how dreams and sleep work together. Lately, I have been recording my dreams, only because I am looking for some answers. To speak more about that, what I mean is, I am an emotional wreck right now. There’s good days and bad and writing down my dreams helps me reflect on why my day plays out the way it does. “Emotions” are basically who directs the play we call our dreams. They bring in the perfect characters for particular roles, decide where the dream takes place, and bring forth the romance scene or dramatic thrill. Now grab your blankie, get tucked in, and don’t let the bed bugs bite while you read this dreamy dream blog.
Hi Friends! I have been very anxious to share with you my experience of climbing my first 14er. For those of you who aren’t quite sure what that is, it is a hike up a mountain that is at least 14,000 feet in elevation. Out here in Colorado, it’s a very common activity. My bestie Carey sometimes will hike one and then go in to work! That’s pretty intense but she’s an unstoppable bad ass. I could hardly stand once we finished nine hours later.
As I am writing this, it is exactly one month before my wedding day. Approaching this day has been kinda scary to be honest with you. Since my moms passing I have been feeling alone. I don’t mean to be disrespectful to everyone who has been there for me during this difficult time, I really do appreciate all of you, it’s just not the same. She was who I went to, the one who actually gave a shit about anything I had to say. I told her everything and she told me everything. I didn’t realize how well I knew her until I had to give all of her information to the cremation society and the lawyer and the tax lady…
Chas, as you all may know from my previous blog, https://adoxiedorylife.com/2017/06/19/spark-of-joy/ has been extremely supportive through my time of grief. The day after my panic attack he found a therapist that I could speak to if I wanted. Seeing a therapist wasn’t how I thought I would ever handle my problems. I figured all she would do was dig up more pain, uncork that bottle stuffed way down inside and drown me with an agonizing reality. Didn’t sound too pleasant. After speaking with my friend and aunt, I realized that she could possibly help me.
photo by Jeremey Lockett
I finally asked Chas for her number and called her on Thursday. She had me in her schedule for Saturday morning. My friend recommended her as well the day before which made me feel better about going. I can’t do this on my own and not only can’t I, but I shouldn’t have to. It hurts me to share my pain with friends, coworkers and family. I feel like a burden and that it’s all about me. I look at it as using my resources. I don’t want to be that girl who lost her mom and that’s all she ever talks about. It sucks. It realllly sucks.
Ugh, it was hard. It was so hard for me to wrap my head around all of this. It’s not that I had to share my feelings with a stranger, that doesn’t bother me. Letting it all out. That, is what’s scary. Ugh is the only word I can express to you how I am feeling. There’s a pit in my stomach. Before I went to the therapist, I decided to make a yoga class. The yoga class I attended was called Anusara, which is what I am currently studying taught by Annie, the owner of The Yoga Tonic. It is based on the philosophy that life is a gift in which we are invited to remember and celebrate in our yoga practice. It is based on flow and alignment. I didn’t want to miss it. The thing with yoga is that it opens up my locked box of vulnerability. I was using alcohol as the key, still do sometimes, but this seems like a healthier option. Chas has cut back on drinking too. He’s such a good influence on me. It’s funny how someone else’s actions can impact you in such a positive way. I feel that he subconsciously saw how alcohol was negatively effecting me and this is his way of being supportive.
photos by Faith Delay
Well, well, well… I’m feelin’ a lil’ sassy today. A bit triumphant I guess after successfully (with much help) making a peach and cherry pie! Not only did I look up ten or so recipes on Pinterest, get advice from bakers and old ladies all week, but my friend Nicole stopped by yesterday morning to help me prep, design, bake and clean up! She’s a sweetheart, bless her. It was a lot of fun even though the cleanup was horrendous! She brought over a little (whole bottle) champagne to get us motivated.
Friends, I can’t wait to share with you on how I have made my house into a home! It’s a little thing called Feng Shui, which stands for wind-water. It is a ancient Chinese principle creating a balanced and harmonious living space. This is decided by the layout and direction of your home and rooms. It also follows the elements: earth, water, fire, metal, and wood. By following these simple rules from room to room, you too can live in a positive and happy home!
Happy days, oh happy days. That’s how I’m trying to see it anyways. I think it’s safe to say that I am not the only human who struggles with finding happiness, and I’m a happy friggin’ person. I have troubles for sure and today I wanted to share with you all how I cope.
1.) Yesterday, I was at work and dreading it. I literally went into the restroom, splashed cold water onto my face and smiled in the mirror for a solid minute and forty-five seconds. Variations of raising my eyebrows, winking, exposing my neck slightly and showing myself strong and crazy smiles. To my surprise, it worked! That non-crazy smile stuck right to my face as I walked into my workday. If you are not comfortable being a maniac in the workplace feel free to place a pencil along your smile and bite. This will do the same thing, I believe they call this muscle memory. I feel that when others around you see a smile it redirects their emotions and reflects yours. A good day for everybody! Continue reading “60-something’s The NEW 20-something!”